Worst Oscars Ever? or, why the hell not, “Jai Ho!”

To be fair I didn’t get to watch all of them.

I spent last night as I had spent the two nights previous: on set as a script supervisor, using my beloved iPhone in creative fashion while the lighting department stared at me with relative disgust.

The film was a project from my class, another kid’s thesis, that was shooting in the producer’s uncles’ house, both of whom were gay clockmakers.

We heard this from the producer but we probably could have figured it out from the profundity of clocks and musical theatre memorabilia and also, memorably, a book entitled: “Welcome to the Gayborhood”.

I shit not.

The Oscars were on in the background. I admit liking Hugh Jackman, the host, a guy who was quickly typecast by Hollywood but who really has many talents. Still, none of the people I would have chosen won.

In recent years, I’d do a long Oscar prognostication but this year felt uninspired and I figure none of my choices would matter.

Anyway, it was a night of extreme disappointments.

“Waltz With Bashir”, one of the most interesting films I’ve ever seen, lost to a film I’d never heard of.

“Milk”, a mediocre screenplay done well by a great director, picked up an award.

Anne Hathaway lost to some naked chick.

I even bothered to see the short films this year and they still picked the worst one of those.

And, jai ho, Slumdog won virtually everything it was possible for it to win.

By the way, I’ve decided I should just start saying “Jai ho” at random occasions. The song is fucking stuck in my head along with that horrific dance sequence and the only way I can think to exorcise that is to say “jai ho” as much as possible.

So, jai ho.

Still, the question is, is this the worst Oscars ever?

I’m unsure. I don’t know if I have the proper frame of reference. Perhaps I could amend that–this is the worst Oscars I’ve ever seen.

The only competition I could think of being 2005 for Crash, but that was a relatively weak year for movies with a good win for Philip Seymour Hoffman even if Elle Woods from “Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde” also won an award that year.

No, this year, willfully bad choices were made of the nominees–the exclusions of “Gomorrah”, “Gran Torino”, “Rachel Getting Married” and “Wendy and Lucy” come to mind–followed by willfully bad choices for winners–Dustin Lance Black, Sean Penn, anything for Slumdog, again some naked chick.

What we got was a sort of shit-sandwich then of terrible choices upon terrible decisions, filled in by Jackman and the occasional interesting commercial.

What is there left to say, but:

Jai Ho.

P.S.- If you’re interested post your thoughts here on whacha thought, or whether you know a worse year for Oscars.

Also, I’m trying to see “They Might Be Giants” performing my favorite album of theirs–Flood–at Le Poisson Rouge on Friday. If anyone’s down for some nerd-rock, lemme know.


4 Responses to Worst Oscars Ever? or, why the hell not, “Jai Ho!”

  1. Now it’s over. I’m dead and I haven’t done anything that I want.


    I’m still alive and there’s nothing I want to do.

  2. Chadd says:

    Worst show ever indeed. I think Jackman sucked too. People love Slumdog so goddamn much. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=826569&ref=profile

  3. ClomeMalone says:

    Crash’s year was an entertaining show at least. That’s always more important than the awards in the long run.
    Whoopie Goldberg almost comes close to Hugh Jackman, but she had much better writing backing her up and her show was way superior in its production.

    They messed up the dead people montage. How the hell do you do that?

  4. the “dead people sequence” literally had me screaming, to distort the screen and make it smaller than it has to be, even blocking out parts of fucking names sometimes! To say Hugh Jackman sucked is rhetoric, but I really hope other people besides me an my relatives thought the new approach to the acting oscars presentations was great. And one more thing, I CAN NOT believe how EVERY FUCKING YEAR all people can talk about on TV was that the oscars were long and boring, are these people new to America? The Oscars is supposed to be long and mostly not extremely exciting, the costume/sound design all that stuff is meant to just be in the background as you BE with your loved ones. Us protestants NEED that, we don’t have your hearty warm traditions, new-comers!

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