Accomplishments and Otherwise

So I got the internship I wanted.

Me, yours truly, will be working at The Colbert Report come this September, unless craziness occurs.

It’s a job I really was excited for, a place where comedy becomes effacacious, meeting the nose and pointing a satirical eye at it all. It’s writers are always writing and I even admire Mr. Colbert’s advocacy of science and scientists on his show, something that could go unnoticed if one wasn’t looking for it closely. In his own way, other than his obvious activities raising money for the military, Mr. Colbert has been advocating for an engagement with science, public television, progressive politics and progressive artwork. In fact, if one looks at his guest-list, they might inclined in some sort of double-blind study to associated more with some show on PRI than with a comedian who tries to judge God’s influence in his segment “Yahweh or No Way”.

My excitement about the internship was only cut somewhat by the fact that I realized that despite being gainfully employed at a job working for something that I loved, I was alas, also unemployed, as a post-college internship on something cool does not actually pay.

So I’m still about that perpetual three weeks away from sending my resume into Starbucks or Gamestop, if for nothing else than the residual coffee/video-game benefits.

Still, at least, I guess now I have something to laugh about.


I also saw The Hangover.

It was pretty good.

I say that almost as a let-down as it had built-up so much in my mind, by my friends and reviews, that when A.O. Scott gave it mediocre-cred in the New York Times I went so far as to write a useless “Reader’s Review” in response accusing him of “not being in touch with [his] sense-of-fun/balls”.

While I think that statement still holds true, The movie itself was only pretty funny in the sort of way that you’re a little embarassed to be laughing at the jokes but you get them all the same. I suppose I was expecting the deeper laughs of an Apatovian young man’s comedy, but instead I reaped the puerile-in-a-good-way antics of Old School director Todd Philips and his unspellable-but-funny star, Zach Galifianakis.

Galifi-whatever bears a passing resemblance to my friend “Beardo” Malone, who seems to envelop his schlubby-ness without the comic’s random bursts of anger.

I knew Gali-whatsit from my favorite Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show: Great Job!, which I regard as the future of comedy, where he plays Tairy Greene, an angry director-of-children, teaching them acting via bodily manipulation.

The video’s worth checking-out, but so is his performance. He’s over-the-top in a way appropriate for comedy without being stupid or insulting to the audience. It’s a good collaboration, between actor and director, utilizing Gali-whosits persona to fill the part.

But the problem with the movie is that, well, it isn’t great. In describing it, I can’t really put my finger on what’s wrong with it other than it isn’t good enough for what it is. My hopes were too high and then dashed too easy.

But it was fun. Just don’t buy the hype–buy the popcorn instead–and you might see yourself having a good time.

Or at least seeing a couple nip-slips for your 12 bucks.


I also ended up on Late Night with David Letterman through some cock-a-mamie scheme.

They sent out an email to the NYU community saying they were looking for unemployed recent-grads (I guess the upshot of the whole unemployment thing) and I suited the bill.

They wanted my resume, any work I’d done and a picture.

I sent them the same resume I’d submitted for working at a summer camp, my sophomore film and a picture of myself frowning at my graduation.

Based on this, they decided I was right for the project and signed me up.

It was nothing too exciting. Basically, 6 hours of waiting in a green room, followed by people telling me I was making them uncomfortable.

But I guess they liked my movie, which was cool, enough so that one of the writers agreed to read a spec I’d written.

Or maybe just because I asked nicely.

Anyway, the segment airs June 22nd according to what they told me, so watch out world/resume!

I’m on!



Speaking of Beardo, I went with him to his stand-up-comedy open-mic at hipster-hangout Cakeshop down on the LES.

It was cool and free and drinks were 2-for-1.

Each person got five minutes to talk about bestiality, hipsters or, memorably, the possiblity of insects crawling up one’s penis while one sleeps.

I kept on giving Rob sips of my Diet Coke asking him if he could tast the alcohol.

I don’t know why that gave me such pleasure.

Anyway, on the way home, un-drunk but full of caffeine, I decided to write on my phone what would be my stand-up routine.

So, unfiltered again, here it is, straight from my phone to you, my iPhone notes on my routine:


You guys ever been to that website I’m very reassured by that because I’m pretty sure black people don’t like me
They’d say hey Jew boy as I’m walking down the street or hey Seth Rogen
People always tell me I looked like Seth Rogen which I thought was kind of a back-handed compliment. Hey yeah you look like that fat red-headed Jewish guy
Then they started telling me I look like Jonah hill you know the much fatter red-headed Jewish guy
And you know I thought it was just natural, just like you know normal like they see two Jews and can’t tell em apart
You know like “all you people look the same”
But I knew I had a problem when I went to Israel and they called me Jonah hill
I went to Israel on this trip called Birthright you know this free trip for Jews
And they really try to brainwash you
They tell you about how Israel is the one true home for the Jews and how much adversity we face in the US
And you know what, they had a point
It’s not so easy for us in America
I see a long road ahead for us.
But I think if we get up everyday and work hard and keep marching
One day well control the music industry, the film industry,  the financial industry, politics, academia, medicine, foreign policy, law, television, whatevers left of newspapers
I have a dream–but it’s very disturbing and involves monkeys doing bad things to me so id rather not discuss it goodnight.

2 Responses to Accomplishments and Otherwise

  1. skip says:

    Congrats on the Colbert Report man! Sounds awesome.

  2. Lisa says:

    want to know more about this letterman thing. immediately.

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